so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
