if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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