with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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