I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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