Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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