What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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