dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I don't deserve a penis
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
