he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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