At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Randomize
