meet me or not, i'm out of control
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
