Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I think i got beer on your cat.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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