when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Come share oat with me in your robe
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
