It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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