it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
