does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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