She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
