Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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