You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Life is so much better after having sex.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
