do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Idk if I want to put a bra on
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
