Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
