my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
