and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
