Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
