school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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