Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
