your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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