OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
