he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
