I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
