I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
