I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
