when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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