I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
