i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
