we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
