And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
