Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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