well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Farmville is her only friend.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
