it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
