I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
