Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
