it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
