Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
her facebook's as public as her vagina
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize