At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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