is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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