hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
