you guys were way drunker than both of me
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
