Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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