He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize
