Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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