Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
