I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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